“You have twins!” 12 things and rules of twins parenting
The news that a married couple will have twins always has two sides. It’s double happiness, of course. Realistically, it’s dual responsibility and concern. If the family has all the possibilities for the material support, the process of parenting twins (two equal in age, but different personalities) shrouded in many questions and fears.
And the future parents can be understood, the difference is enormous. The most frequent question that arises at mom and dad: how to divide correctly the attention and love between two identical children? How to bring them up to take into account all individual characteristics, to reveal talents? And the most interesting thing is how to do everything at once?
Remembering the playgrounds as early as 8-10 years ago, the twins looked the following: the same clothes (sometimes even the same colors), identical toys, friends the same, and sports/art sections attended the same. This is very convenient when you do not need to think up once again what to wear, where to go. And children are often offended, capricious if you bought one thing for brother or sister, and you bought a different for them. It’s hard to explain for a kid that the other doesn’t mean worse.
Another detail, parents were often called their twin’s such names, which are attuned with each other, and even have the same number of letters. That sounds beautiful!
But why does everybody like to see identical twins, or is it just a habit?
The first period of motherhood will be the most difficult.
A list of tips which will be useful for having twins
- A feeding cushion. Twins wake up very often at the same time. Buying such a pillow would be a very good decision. You put the pillow in front of you, and you put the babies on both sides.
- “Backpack-kangaroo”.If one of the twins sleeps and the other does not – put it in a comfortable backpack and continue to do your homework in the company of a little helper.
- A mobile for the baby bed. You should buy a mobile one that doesn’t fix only on the bed, and you can install it anywhere. It is great entertainment for little kids.
- A pram for a twin. It’s a very useful thing! Better take a model of a pram where the kids will sit together.
- A cradle. The twins will feel protected inside the cradle. Some automated models can include melodies to your babies and cradle them while you enjoy the quiet.
- Baby-cam. This thing is “a must-have” for all parents. It will show you what your twins do wherever you are.
- The playpen. It’s hard for mom to keep track of two kids, and the playpen will help to put them together while you’re busy with cleaning or cooking lunch.
- Bicycle, sled. It’s the same story as the pram. Double sleds and a bicycle are practical ways of transportation while your babies are still young.
- Clothes and wardrobe. Let your twins be different. The clothing exchange is left behind. Dress the kids differently, let them choose their outfits, don’t impose your tastes.
- If you have twins of different sexes, it is very important to accentuate that they are a boy and a girl. Work on upbringing female qualities in a girl and male features in a boy.
- Don’t forget that you gave a name for each child. Don’t call them like “Twins” when you talk to them, or call them to eat (walk, play). It will help them separate themselves from their siblings from the early period of their lives.
- Design a room for your twins to accommodate the wishes of each of the twins. Take into account their hobbies, favorite cartoons, fairy tales, sports games. So it will be easier to agree and everyone will be comfortable.
You will also be interested to read about the difficulties that can arise with the twins at different ages of their lives.
Preschool age twin-kids
A very common phenomenon between kids in this toddler is a rivalry. It is important to notice their differences in preferences: who’s playing which games, which toys, what they like to do and which clubs to attend.
Praise each child individually for his little victories, and never set an example (do not compare) a child with a brother (sister). No one likes to be compared with other people. It causes enmity and eternal competition, lowers self-esteem.
Difficulties that arise in adolescence
The teenage period of any person is always unpredictable, complex and incomprehensible. When you have two teenage twins, you need to be prepared for the fact that each of them will have an increased desire to identify their identity (to be different from a sibling).
Usually teenagers want to stand out in the crowd, and twins want the same. These are frequent mood swings, the same sympathy for the opposite sex. As a characteristic process twins want to be different from each other – and it is also normal. Since the interests and the circle of communication are different, some goals and aspirations coincide. Don’t panic, the connection that is biologically programmed by nature from their birth would come through. To maintain a balance between teenage twins:
- Accept their desire to emphasize external differences.
- Praise and encourage each individual’s success.
- Let them go in different directions.
- If you forbid or restrict something, the system must be the same for each twin.
- It would be better, to have a chance to spend time separately with each of the twins.
Let your teenagers be wrong and make their choices, take it with understanding and be patient. Just think back to your teenage years.
Now we want to talk about the features of twin girls
Gifts, outfits, toys, jewelry – let your girls choose all these things for themselves. They’re future ladies, women give them the full freedom of choice. Everyone should have their particular taste.
The father of the family is indispensable here, he must be actively involved in the education of his boys. Explain that there should be no hostility, rivalry, resentment between them. Reinforce their strengths, develop their character. Accustom them to the fact that they are the greatest support for each other, that together they are not winning, but separately they are also independent individuals.