Some tips to save relationships after baby
A child is definitely a gift that is given hard. And it is not only about the process of birth or financial difficulties.
Every year, not only the average age at which a woman decides to become a mother (25-28 years) increases steadily but also the number of marriage troubles after baby. Basically, marriage falling apart after the baby in the first year of life or during the first four years. The reasons may be different. But in most cases, it all comes down to the fact that young families are not ready to share attention with a third person or do not know how to competently solve problems without emotions and unnecessary headaches.
Then the only way to solve relationship issues after the baby is to split up and not poison each other’s lives + the child who is not responsible for anything. Relationship after baby – you can’t avoid problems and it’s okay.
Relationship stress after having a baby is a normal phenomenon that every new parent experiences
- Firstly, the stress is due to the fact that a man and a woman have to enter into a new social role, they are now not only husband and wife but also mom and dad.
- Secondly, many men will say that the wife changed after a baby. And this is pure truth, it has changed!
Some newlyweds have the opportunity to live close to their relatives (grandparents) who can help and share experiences – this is a great advantage. It is especially difficult for those women and men who lived in an incomplete family where mom or dad was absent (or he/she was an orphan). Then the person doesn’t understand the pattern of behavior of one of the main family members. This causes a dissonance between perceptions and reality. But again, there are different cases where such people cope as well as representatives of full families.
The changes occurred in the physiological state of a woman (it concerns the hormonal background and general state of the body, the duration of its rehabilitation), in the mental and moral sphere. Mom pays all attention to the child who is completely dependent on her from birth. Therefore, many men may feel a lack of attention from married life. Only some can step over their ego and change the vector of thoughts/deeds. There are men who can’t accept that his beloved woman looks worse, rarely does the things that were regular before the baby appeared. And at such moments it is difficult for them to accept this fact. Everyone chooses his own ways of decision. A man can seek solace in another woman or openly go into conflict, which provokes misunderstandings. Usually, such “solutions to a situation” become a point of no return. Only the most indifferent woman can tolerate this attitude and try to save such relationships after a kid’s birth.
Relationship with husband after baby. How and why do they change?
Each case of such relationship problems after a baby is unique. How many men – so many views, perceptions, and abilities to be more than just a good lover.
- It is a very scary situation when a woman believes that the birth of a child will be saved by love or a relationship that has long since failed. The child is not the subject that can close the hole or return the past between you. So if the cause of the birth of the child is the option “save the relationship” – it is a bad idea. You will ruin the life of every member of the family. Nothing will change, because you initially had problems that concerned only the two of you.
- Marital problems after having a baby can start as a result of the lack of sexual relations. Few things change in an adult man’s well-being and body after having a baby, unlike a woman. Natural needs have not been canceled but a woman who recently gave birth to a child may have her own good reasons to refuse to love. This may be the result of complications during childbirth or a problem with the hormonal component (libido).
- Lack of segregation of duties may be a reason for problems after a baby. There are men who don’t understand why a woman who is always at home with a child doesn’t have time to do anything around the house. They only criticize, are offended and angry, but only a few offers of their help. If a woman can nip this in the bud at the beginning of conflicts of this nature, there are chances to avoid such misunderstandings. It is better to agree on all obligations on the shore in order not to complicate life in which there has been enough change.
- Relationship changes after the baby may concern the man’s unpreparedness to be a father to his child. In such cases, the man feels how much has changed his sweet life with the woman he loved and how many everyday problems have appeared. The only option (for some husbands) is to run away or ignore their involvement as a father and the authority of the family. A woman doesn’t feel supported and has the impression that a father doesn’t love his son (daughter) and can leave the family.
How to keep a relationship strong after having a baby?
Unfortunately, we don’t have a magic pill that would solve all the problems that have arisen between young parents. But if you are trying to fix the situation and looking for solutions it is a sign that you really care about your relationship.
Some tips that can prevent or correct marriage problems after a baby
- Don’t be offended and speak directly about your problems or desires. No one can read your thoughts or predict the course of events. Often build up anger and petty grudges cause marriage problems after a baby. So be sincere and don’t complicate what you can solve peacefully. Negative emotions will only make things worse.
- Don’t be afraid to show signs of attention to each other in the presence of the child, more often contact tactfully. Very often you may miss just a hug or a light massage. Body language is an important part of any relationship between a man and a woman. The child is not a reason to forget about who you are to each other.
- Apologize! This minimizes the development of emotional devastation and exhaustion for both of you. Pride is the enemy of the relationship between a woman and a man. When you are wrong – you should just ask for forgiveness and you will see that admitting your mistakes is not a shame but very useful!