How do you discipline a child that won’t listen?
A child is the main value of the family. In modern society, most parents choose a partnership or democratic model of education, where the child has equal rights and can say and do whatever it wants. Mom and dad try to give the best of everything to their children, they help to develop the talents of kids, parents support any decision of their and respect their choice.
But there are situations where a child has to listen to its mom or dad without speaking and without comment, and then begin different misunderstandings, quarrels, and resentments. The child is used to one model of communication, and parents set their rules or they impose their point of view.
It is very simple for those parents who can easily say “no”, who can scream or even hit, although it is wrong in relation to the children. But what to do if you are not used to such methods of influence or if you don’t know what to do in these situations? In this article, we will talk about how you can discipline a child who won’t listen.
Start with yourself
If you often start a conversation with a child with the phrase “You’re so obnoxious!” or “Why are you so selfish?” then you should change your tactics. Words like that won’t help you convince your child that it did something wrong. He’ll get offended and then stop paying attention at all. You’d better say, “You do know, it’s been tough for me to talk with you” – this is a more respectful phrase, you’re not insulting your child by these words, but you’re making it clear that his words or actions cause some discomfort. The child will think twice and it will want to change the situation.
Try to segregate the requests for kids who don’t listen
When we say “Please, clean your room”, this text sounds generalized and the child understands that it has a lot to do. It is better to start with separate actions, such as “Please get your stuff on the shelf, daughter”. And when the child copes with this task, you can offer to do something else. You can also turn your cleaning into a game or a competition.
The colorful zones
Some psychologists recommend dividing all activities of your child into colored zones. You can make a poster, or a reminder together.
- Green zone – this zone specifies all the activities that your child can do without any conditions and prohibitions.
- Yellow zone – the child can do whatever it wants but there are some conditions, for example: “If you do your homework, it means that you can go out with friends”, or another option “If your room is clean and all things are at their places, you can play computer games”.
- Orange zone – here you can specify those actions that you can allow only in certain cases. For example, if it is a holiday, the child can go to bed later than usual.
- Red zone – in this category you prescribe those actions that are prohibited and it is not negotiable.
Keep in mind that your children are modeling your behavior. And if you ask them what you do not do, you should not expect your children to do otherwise.