Difference Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting: Which Is Better?
After a divorce, every parent must create the ideal conditions for their child’s life so that both parents take part in its development. To create such a framework, it is important for every parent who is in such a situation to know the parallel and co-parenting meaning, because these are the only ways to give a child the attention of two parents. Let’s take a look at how co-parenting works and whether parallel parenting is better.
What Does Co-Parenting Mean?
The joint maintenance of the child by the mother and the respondent should be understood as the finding of the child on their dependents or the provision by the respondent of systematic assistance in supporting the child, regardless of the amount of this assistance. The financial assistance of the defendant must be permanent, and not be of an episodic or one-off nature. It is also possible to provide it by the relatives of the alleged father (grandmother, grandfather of the child, etc.), if the father himself doesn’t have such an opportunity for some reason.
If you don’t know how to be a good co-parent, then just think about how much attention from both parents is needed for the child to feel comfortable and not notice that the parents are in a quarrel or have any conflicts. Also, it is necessary to explain everything to the child so that he doesn’t think that all this happened through his “fault”.
How often should co-parents communicate? Everything would depend on the father’s desire to see the child. The mother shouldn’t forbid these meetings, unless they cause any harm (physical and/or mental) to the child. The father can meet with the mother to discuss all the details of spending time with the child, as well as the amount of the proposed assistance, which usually should be no less than the amount that the mother needs to fully support the child (taking into account feeding, clothing, education, entertainment and other possible expenses).
Benefits of Co-Parenting
The main advantages include such items as:
- The child receives positive communication with both parents, regardless of their conflict;
- Minimizing the risk of parentification when a child makes his parents reconcile with each other by any means;
- The child doesn’t need to choose between parents, with whom he wants to live more, and so on;
- The child’s feeling of stability and “full-fledged” family
- A healthy environment for personal development and creation.
Of course, this technique cannot be immediately suitable for everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation. If you are still angry or have resentment about something with your ex, you need to choose a different parenting, because the child would continue to see conflicts between you, if you contact enough.
What Is Parallel Parenting?
The parallel parenting definition is a kind of agreement in which divorced parents can, through disengagement from each other and limited direct contact, in situations where they stop communicating and living together, or get divorced altogether. For intractable families with high levels of conflict, parallel parenting provides an opportunity for parenting in which both parents can participate and remain fully connected to their children.
Under such an agreement, parents can take responsibility for making decisions in different areas (for example, one parent is responsible for medical decisions and the other for education). However, most often they agree with the basic decisions regarding the upbringing of children, but separately determine the material and technical support of the daily upbringing of children.
Benefits of Parallel Parenting
Of course, we can highlight the positive aspects in favor of such upbringing. Here are the most important ones:
- The child won’t have the opportunity to participate and observe the conflicts between his parents;
- Each parent would have their own characteristics in raising a baby;
- A healthy relationship would be created between the two parents and the child;
- Parents have a significant decrease in the number of contacts with each other;
- The child’s needs come to the fore.
Although here parents have a great opportunity not to get involved with each other due to the fact that everyone chooses the method of how the child would be brought up, the parents still won’t stop completely overlapping, since it would be necessary to combine graphs and other details.
Co-Parenting vs Parallel Parenting
To make a choice between these two techniques, let’s take a look at what’s the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting. Parallel parenting, in contrast to co-parenting, allows parents to reduce communication with each other by several times, while preventing the child from feeling discomfort from the absence of one of the parents in his life.
During the divorce, you can already decide any details of co-parenting, for example, the amount of alimony, the conditions for maintaining communication with the child, and other details. Also, the creation of such an upbringing allows former spouses to think over everything to the smallest detail as good as possible, so that both the child and the parents feel comfortable.
In turn, we will recommend co-parenting for you, as it is a friendlier option in which parents can jointly create the ideal environment for their child, even if it happens separately. In addition, the mother would have guaranteed additional funds on which she can support the child. But if you aren’t in a very friendly relationship with your ex, then parallel parenting is definitely more suitable for you. Now that you know more about these two techniques, you can choose the most suitable one for you, or support our opinion on this matter. In addition, you can try both that and that method, but the main thing is that two parents are enough for the child and the change in methods doesn’t cause him any discomfort. Consider again the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting to make it easier to choose between them and make the right decision. What kind of upbringing of your child would you choose?
- We glad you liked reading our article about babies, tell us why!
- We couldn't help you but you can! Please, share your thoughts!