5 Toxic Phrases You Should Stop Saying to Your Children Today
Sometimes we don’t even think about or analyze the phrases we say to our children. And maybe they are not as bad or negative as we think. But eventually, they are deposited in the children’s subconscious and worse, affect their perception of the world or themselves in the world.
Today, we want to pay attention to those phrases that are aimed at the moral or psychological support of the child.
After all, there are so many moments when you want to seem better or to save family members from negative consequences/emotions. But in the aftermath, we only make things worse.
And so, now you probably recognize yourself in these phrases:
“Honey, I’m not tired at all and I’ll get it done now!”
Oh yeah, that’s the motto of many moms/dads who can’t and don’t know how to feel their fatigue. After all, you have a pupil who demands your attention or wants you to play with him after 8 pm when you’ve already made dinner and are ready to collapse without feeling.
It’s true if we are parents, it means there are no days off from our children and we have to do our best to keep them alive, happy and enjoying themselves.
But it’s one thing when you really don’t feel tired but it’s another thing when you find it hard to stand or your eyes close on their own. Why such sacrifices?
A child needs to understand how adults feel, to learn empathy (to empathize and understand the state and mood of another person).
And if a child can make his own dinner or wash the dishes after himself, then let him do it by himself. Children aspire to understand adult life and communicate with more adult people as equals.
It’s not your selfishness talking, it’s pedagogy. Wanting to teach your child that stuff happens in life, and smiling and being energetic doesn’t always work.
Just ask politely to help you, it will be better than any confessions and explanations.
“Don’t worry, I’ve been whipped for this kind of thing and it’s no big deal!”
Sounds like such a thing. Except for the fact that you were injured and you bravely endured it because how else could it be. So, you’re also saying that it’s normal and that you should be grateful.
You had better not give this act of heroism and say that you, too, were scolded by adults but you are not offended now. Because you understand your guilt and think that the reprimand was fair, although not very pleasant.
And if your child is offended, then calmly talk to him about the situation and ask what exactly offended him.
“Let’s quickly put away the toys because daddy/mommy will come home from work angry!”
This is almost the same as telling your child, “Your mom/dad is hysterical and unbalanced. Let’s clean this place up or he’ll just tear the whole house down when he sees it.”
Why tell the child that the other parent has some kind of mental health problem when you can just say, “Daddy/Mommy and I are so happy when we see you picking up toys!” or “We are proud that you know how and understand that you need to clean up after yourself if you won’t play anymore.”
“Please, well, try a little piece of pie! After all, I tried so hard for you!”
This, too, is a favorite phrase especially for moms and grandmas who took a very long time to make their signature dish. And the child says “yuck!” just from the mere sight of this culinary masterpiece.
Then we start to turn on the manipulation and say that he is sure to like it because we have invested so much effort and time. It seems that such arguments will make the dish taste better – but no.
This is how we show that we don’t care about the child’s opinion and he never learns to say “no” when he is really against something.
You better teach your child and tell them how to politely say “no” and thank them for their efforts!
“Don’t look at these fools, you’re the best I’ve got!”
Undoubtedly, any child is the best person in the world to their parents. But why compare and call totally different people/children names?
Or another toxic phrase is, “They’ll wish they had called you to play/She’ll still be asking for you to play that piece again.”
After saying this, the child will be angry at these people and want to prove their superiority, but why do they need these meaningless goals and emotions?
On the contrary, you need to show your child that other people don’t have to like him and it’s okay that someone doesn’t want to be together with him.
The main thing is that his family is his support who is always there for him and will support him in any situation.